标记档案:mitt romney

受保护:审查周

15 十月

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屁股吃

26

一个女孩在吃我的屁股这是我的第一次I had merely asked her to tickle my back but she misinterpreted this as wanting my ass eaten and being too shy to ask. 

它不是很激动,但它真的只是......甜美,温柔,亲密更多关于她的长发搔痒我的屁股脸颊比实际,你知道,舌头在我的混蛋She had eaten a mint or chewed strong gum beforehand.  I felt minty afterwards. 

I couldn’t help thinking about my shit that morning.  My second shit, which had spinach leaves in it.  I kept thinking: don’t let her go so deep that she eats my shit spinach.  Then thinking about spinach made me think about Popeye and I had to keep trying not to laugh thinking about Popeye shooting a thin stream of fire from his pipe to open a can of spinach, and then pounding the contents, and his biceps expanding and appearing to contain an old-timey factory with dancing smokestacks that produced tanks which then shot Bluto in the face我一直在想如果她吃了一块菠菜,然后变成了大力水手。

无论如何。

受保护:日记9-18-12:吸我的他妈的迪克,米特罗姆尼

20 九月

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野生王国

14 九月

Fucking flies all over me, in my house.  And ants who come in seeking water.  It’s a hundred and eight degrees and I’ve left some chicken bones in the trash and instantaneously dozens of flies appear; swirling around the kitchen like that witch woman’s planetary machine in THE DARK CRYSTAL.  What the fuck are those things called.  Something-ary.  Anyway, like one of those things.  Throw away the chicken and immediately, flies.  Their life cycle is so short– born, maggot, fly, fuck, shit die.  Do they even eat as adults, or do they just look for a place to lay eggs.  They’re dying of natural causes now and the chicken bones have only been in there for three daysI am forced to contemplate the fleeting nature of life.  Fucking flies.

Born, baby, eat, adult, fuck, shit, die.  In the span of geological time our lives are three days long; we’re born in a trash can eating a chicken bone, we fuck and make a baby once or twice if we’re lucky, and we fucking die glued to the window, trying to get out into the sun.  We just want to die outside. 继续阅读

放松,这不重要谁是总统

8 九月

Your taxes are not going to go up or down.  And if they do, who gives  a shit.  It won’t be a meaningful amount.  You are not barely hanging on by the amount that your taxes will increase.  You are not going to get some windfall by the amount your taxes will decrease.  They are not going to up the taxes enough that the debt and deficit are lowered meaningfully, nor are they going to lower them so that the debt and deficit are raised meaningfully.  All that shit, the money shit, is going to stay pretty much exactly the same.

If you can get an abortion now, you will still be able to get an abortion.  If you live in North Dakota, you will have to drive very far to get an abortion.  But you already have to drive very far to get an abortion.  You have to drive across the equivalent of France to get a fuel filter for a Japanese car, or a burrito.  If you live in North Dakota, you probably do not need or want or would consider having an abortion.  Why is it such a big fucking deal, the five abortions performed annually in North Dakota.  Or in Mississippi– when have you ever heard of someone getting pregnant in Mississippi, and no matter how young they were, how poor, no matter how abusive and drunk the father is, how many babies he already has with thirty other women, how much chromosome damage the baby was going to have from the mother pounding from whatever clay jug labeled “XXX” they drink from in Mississippi– when was the last time you ever heard of someone getting pregnant in Mississippi and not keeping the babyAny state considering outlawing abortion is an entire state of Honey Boo Boo.  Every birth is from statutory rape by a multiple convict, and every six fingered IQ 80 baby is considered a huge blessing from Jesus where you wouldn’t even think about terminating the pregnancy.  Why do we argue so much about this.继续阅读

Delicioustacos,总统迫切需要你的帮助

11

操你,巴拉克奥巴马总统。

And First Lady Michelle Obama, and Vice President Joe Biden, and fuck you Anne Marie Habershaw, and David Axelrod; fuck you Jim Messina, fuck you Mary Jane Stevenson; eat a fucking dick Julianna “Cock Destroyer” Smoot; choke on my balls Stephanie “Turd” Cutter; fuck youleta, Katherine Archuleta; Rufuckyou* Rufus Gifford, and on and on and on to all the dozens of jerkoffs who email me CONSTANTLY, EVERY MOTHERFUCKING DAY begging for money for Barack Obama.  A president whom I voted for and supported, but of course, my fucking VOTE doesn’t mean shit since I live in California and unless you actually skullfucked a baby on TV there is no way you’re not carrying this state.  So who gives a shit how I vote. No, fuckface, your vote means nothing.  We need your motherfucking MONEY.

Fuck all of you because every five god damn minutes I look at my blackberry and see the red asterisk of a new incoming email and I think it’s a new comment on my blog or correspondence from a friend and instead it’s you god damn panhandlers finding some new excuse to hit me up for cash.  If I donate three dollars I get a chance to have dinner with George Clooney,  which– if I’m having dinner with George that’s工作for me; I better be getting paid.  Or: RED ALERT! Mitt Romney has outraised Obama for the first time, in fact the first time Barack has been outfunded by an opponent since 2007– well shit, that second part is news to me; I thought you guys were the fucking underdogs.  Are you telling me you had MORE money than the Republicans this全程? Fuck off then看看那里有你我应该在撒旦教堂与我的男新娘结婚,然后立即回到我的山区,获得免费保险和失业金。继续阅读