归档|肯尼罗杰斯 这一节的RSS提要

即将发布一章从肯尼·罗杰斯的回忆录:运气之类的,10月2日

1 10月

肯尼首次自传,运气之类的, releases on October 2, 2012! Kenny wants to thank you for your unending support “through the years” by offering an exclusive preview excerpt from the book to his fan community这个独家先睹为快只提供给那些直接连接到肯尼通过自己的社交网络。

I was staying on the outskirts of Nashville, working on some new song ideas in my hotel, when I received a call from Larry Butler.  Now, you may not know Larry’s name, but you know his work.  He was the legendary producer behind the some of the greatest hits of yours truly, Johnny Cash, John Denver, and countless more.  You got a call from Larry Butler, you listened.

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周末有什么有趣的计划吗?

7 9月

I’m gonna fuck a goat and set a school on fire.  I’m gonna inject my wang with saline so it’s nine inches long and four inches wide and then run naked through a church service我要吃一辆沃尔沃240旅行车,把一个完美雕刻的米妮珍珠钢雕像完全裸体送给婴儿肯尼罗杰斯,而森林生物敬畏地看着I’m gonna grow six extra tits and suckle a pack of needy orphans.  I’m gonna huff household cleaning products ’till my eyes look like an albino rabbit and take a journey that is at once within myself and also to the outermost reaches of the cosmos.  It will last a lifetime but when I look at my watch only seconds will have passed.

在某个地方,今晚

2 7月

I was googling “Kenny motherfucking Rogers” last night, as is my God given duty as an American.  I came across this岗位网络钓鱼爱好者论坛上回应负面评论对肯尼的“赌徒”乐队的表现:

jilliebean(OP)•Mon 2012年6月11日下午40分:

你他妈的给我闭嘴,你有一些上帝该死的母亲该死的尊重这个男人是一个该死的传奇没有去,因为他是一个传奇他是音乐版税和你更好地跪拜的精彩他妈的赌徒他是一个真正的男人他是那种在街上的人会让你吃不消老派风格,用拳头,然后晚饭后他就操你的女人,让她在早餐前骑的一个该死的马,然后他会写一个美丽的歌也卖出了2.5亿册And do you know what your girlfriend would do then? She would spend the rest of her fucking life reliving that beautiful act of love over and over in her mind and crying herself to sleep while touching herself wishing that you were a real man like Kenny他知道当他们什么时候他妈的褶皱他受骗的多莉•帕顿的喜欢,他比你他妈的一个热的女孩现在会得到今天,70岁的他仍然可以带你在木棚,踢你的屁股,然后操你钟旭女朋友只是为了好玩他喝酒,吸烟,他妈的在你甚至一线在你母亲的眼睛所以你关闭你的馅饼洞你驴,或者肯尼会来为你关闭它。继续阅读

消息从肯尼(NSFW)

1 7月

Not gonna lie: these are dark times.  The thing that bugs me the most is that I’m never going to find a nice girl部分原因是,嗯,有shitload原因,但唯一一个来自我,我现在面向无保护措施的性行为尽可能快。

And this definitely does fuck with you.  “One becomes as incapable of love as an old slag,” as a brilliant man once said.  I’ve become a dating hack.  I wear the same outfit every time, go to the same place, arrange the chairs the same way, go for the makeout at the same moment, etc等等etc.  It’s all so rote that there is no way I could possibly have any exciting discovery about the other person.  There is no way you could get in through some little crack in my persona and make me feel anything.

当我观看Kenny Rogers 1982年的电影杰作SIX PACK时,我正在考虑这个In it, Kenny plays a jaded racecar driver who, through a series of contrivances, is forced to take on a group of half a dozen (or “pack” of “six”) orphans whom he catches trying to steal his spare parts.  At first incensed and reluctant, he slowly grows to love these lucky children and becomes a father figure to themMany think that Kenny was overlooked for the Oscar that year, but few know that at a secret meeting the academy decided that lumping Kenny in with inferiors such as Olivier and Brando would only sully his name.  And giving Kenny the award would render all future Oscars meaningless–  you would simply have to award Kenny the prize again and again each year, for SIX PACK.  The film also suffered controversy after sixteen year old costar Diane Lane gave birth to an infant with a perfectly groomed white beard.

年轻的车道不能包含她淫荡的目光罗杰斯“麝香唤醒她的热气腾腾的青春期的腰。继续阅读

肯尼斯·唐纳德·肯尼罗杰斯:完整的和完整的传记,第一章:出生

29日

注:本传记是肯尼斯·唐纳德·肯尼罗杰斯golden-voiced和完美大胡子表演者,不是

1938.  Small town on the outskirts of Houston, Texas.  A rough-hewn town.  Out in the cracked Texas plainsTumbleweeds, cactuses, possibly other succulents.  Scrub and chaparral.  Low slung bungalows with no indoor plumbing.  Instead a pineboard outhouse with a quarter moon shaped hole carved in the door like outhouses always have, that the locals refer to by some quaint vernacular such as “the jakes.”

The type of town that has a sign saying “N*gger, don’t let the sun set on you in (TOWN NAME),”  which implies weirdly that they would be welcome in the daytime.  N*gger, don’t let the sun set on you here– but by day, enjoy our fine restaurants and shopsMaybe it’s a courtesy.  Like, they have vampires that only prey on blacks.继续阅读

肯尼·罗杰斯,狗第3部分:今天是肯尼的一天

5

今天是一天。今天是你采用的那一天肯尼。罗杰斯 那只狗。You, with your generous backyard and one or more persons on the premises at all times, with your adequate energy to get out to the park and toss the beast a tennis ball.  You who are not the kind of douchebag that has a steroidal pit bull struggling on a length of Home Depot chain so you can look like a badass in your powder blue track suit, but who does secretly relish that your totalitarian secret police dog could probably kick that dog’s ass.  You who has kids and/ or valuable possessions and is in need of a guard dog who looks really scary and mean but would probably just lick the intruders, but is effective as a deterrent because the sign that says “Warning: Attack Dog” has a picture of your actual dog on it.  Today is the day.  Today is the day you go to the East Valley Animal Shelter on Vanowen Avenue in Van Nuys and ask to check out an intact male  German Shepherd officially known as “Baby G.”  But that is his slave name.  His real name is of course Kenneth Donald “Kenny” Rogers, because he picked a fine time to leave his abusive former home.  Because he knew when to walk away, and knew when to run.  Because baby when you met him there was peace unknown; you set out to groom his burr-laden undercoat with a fine toothed comb.  Because don’t take your love to town.
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肯尼·罗杰斯,狗第2部分:将你的爱

30. 可以

你们中有些人可能还记得这是两英寸低于这些话,我们有一只狗,名叫肯尼罗杰斯和对付是否返回他可能忽略的家里。

It’s now a bit out of our hands.  Kenny jumped the fence at Nikol’s house and wandered up to some woman who turned him in to the animal shelter.

In a way, this kicks ass, because both the phone numbers off his avid chip were disconnected (we did end up trying them).  The shelter can’t get a hold of his owner.  So for him to get the dog back, he would have to take action, meaning, he wants the dog and therefore gives a shit.  If he doesn’t give a shit, which seems more likely, the dog will go up for adoption on June 5th.
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