Get Fucked

28 Jul

young george

I need to post something while the stupid fucking kid stomps around upstairsAnd I’m hornyAnd I drank too much coffee, or too little– I gotta order a new ball hair trimmerAnother binder for my DVDsNever watch but can’t throw them awayRepair the fish tankTo do this, drain the fish tankI don’t even know where the leak isFuck, I don’t want to get rid of itI want a fish tankMy recurring – fuck — did I yell audiblyDid I yell audibly at them stomping aroundAnd they fucking heard meWell they stopped stompingThey stomp and it drives me crazyAnd I yellAnd they stopAnd I feel guiltyYou can’t fucking win.

They don’t know how loud the kid isOr they don’t carePeople with kids don’t care about anyone elseNor should theyI’m the useless tumor on society with no investment in its future.

I don’t want to mix a big batch of diatomaceous earth and fertilizer and red phosphorus from match heads and screws and ball bearings and flechettes and strap it to myself and go to the nearest church or school and detonate itBut I get why people doMoments waiting for a text back from a girl from OKCupidWho responded to my messageMeaning she’s at least two points beneath me on a 1-10And I’m not exactly a nine my fucking selfA fat woman who said yes to a date and confirmed the date/ time and you sayon my wayand …

Just deep black silence like your own deathBut still half awake troubled by weird dreamsNeglected fish tankWeird creatures half alive buried in sand gnawing at one another with needlelike eel teethLater she has some unconscious sense of timing to text sorry got caught up in the officeThis week is a nightmare.The exact moment you could have let goJust let me not be invisibleWomen get dehumanizedBut I’m not even a living creature to themThen some ugly girl messages meI say nothingSo who the fuck am I to talk.

I gotta update the people who read thisI’m in the end part of thenew bookwhere I’m not posting chaptersIt’s hardAll the setups gotta be paid offI’m like George R.RMartinPainted into corners—like George RRMartin if no one gave a shitAlso have to work a more than full time jobAll kinds of horseshit associated with Alcoholics AnonymousLet me take a minute to tell you: don’t get soberNot for one dayThe shit you think it’ll do to your life– all trueI can’t get a dateLook at me for Christ’s sakeA guy I sponsored started smoking crack again and I thought: thank GodI don’t have to talk about the Big Book anymore.

The anguish of writingNo gratification of posting itHaving one guy say “brilliant” and another say “this sucks fag” (thank you both)It’s driving me nutsBut I’m gonna crank out this new bookAnd you’re gonna buy itAnd if every one of you did, and ten of your friends did too– it wouldn’t pay the rentBut I can say I did it.

DVD cases in sticky greasy dust all over the carpet22 thousand dollar a year uninhabitable shitholeLight timer on the fish tank where my last fish died tick tick tickingGrinding plastic on plastic at one million decibels reminding me I’m functionally dead and everything I loved is goneGeorge RRMartin if no one gave a shitWas about to say at least I’m better lookingBut this 2018 OKCupid taught me: there are no male 6’sYou’re a 10 or a 0 to a pustule faced IQ 85 (REDACTED) with teeth like a mole whose hobbies are eating and writing don’t message meWomen deserve to be (REDACTED)I’m a zeroA zeroI need to 万博ag真人揭秘 off.

24 Responses to “Get Fucked”

  1. Anonymous July 28, 2018 at 3:52 pm #

    I remember a Tinder date with an actuary, she was pretty beautiful actuallyNever heard from her againI understand you have to be quite smart for that profession.

  2. . July 28, 2018 at 4:35 pm #

    You’re good mateYou’re genuinely, objectively goodKia kaha.

  3. Anony-fucking-mous July 28, 2018 at 7:11 pm #

    Every good date I go on ends with a ghost and then pictures on their Instagram of some older man with them and all I can do is silently fumeHe’s probably richAnd it’s annoying, because I’m not poor… But I’m not trust fund rich, or established businessman who struggled to date all through his tenties and now at 38 has enough money to finally steal a 24 year old… Hair stylist… with a nice rack out from my fingersWhat the fuckZero reporting in.

    • Voltaicc July 30, 2018 at 1:31 am #

      “Don’t torment and punish yourself with things you don’t really want anywayThings you want for the wrong reasons.”

  4. Nikolai Vladivostok July 29, 2018 at 12:23 am #

    It’s hard to know what to sayYou don’t want advice or suggestions for the actual situation“That’s not the point, man! It’s art, man!” You mock our feedback on your writingYou never reply when we share related experiencesI know you want groupies to fly over and bang you without showering but most of us are blokes.
    And you pretend not to read the comments but then the next post will be all about what a bunch of retarded cunts we are.
    And you wonder why that guy always just says “fag”At least he gets a reaction.
    But anyway, why do all that AA stuff if you hate it? Do you really need the distraction to stop drinking? Maybe you could learn a language insteadAn Asian language.

    • Tyler July 29, 2018 at 4:47 pm #

      I’ve read you for years and have never commented on any of your posts, but I check in every few days just to see.

      I just came to say that your writing speaks to me and that I appreciate the trouble you go through to put it out here.

      Anyway, modern dating is shit and I believe swipe apps did more than their fair share to kill itIt’s kind of like the scenario you described in one post: with the hot girls and the bar sceneA trendy new bar is only so good for a pick-up spot for so longOnce normal people show up, it scares off the good girls, so they go elsewhereBut the rumour persists and the place becomes a sausage fest and only draws in the fatties, sluts, and wanna be instagram thots thereafterIt happened to Tinder, and it is happening to Bumble right nowIt happened to OkCupid, like, 6 years ago.

      It all follows the same cycleFirst the professional and/or intelligent women show up, and the getting is goodThis lasts for maybe a year or two, topsThis is the time you get dates with doctors, lawyers, accountants, or generally just pleasant girlsThen, enter stage two: the the less attractive girls with attitudes start to grow in number as they have heard from their friends that an app is good for the pickingsBy stage three, it’s all ugly girls or pretty sluts with black chokers, high waisted short-shorts, septum piercings, tattoos all over, and daddy issuesEven the ugly ones get matches out the asshole, but you know this.

      Anyway, I used to show up on these apps and get dozens of matches in a sittingNow? Fuck all, and most of them ghost you in the first few sentences for something they precieve as betterMy appearance hasn’t changed either, it’s just how these things flowThe good girls? Mostly gone.

      Maybe your book proceeds can fund your future escort habit, or maybe you can be a sugar daddy… Or maybe you can leave LA.

      Best of luck.

      • guest July 29, 2018 at 7:12 pm #

        SecondedEverything’s fucked nowAt least we had our day.

      • guest July 29, 2018 at 7:13 pm #

        And I’ve been reading you for years as wellGood luckWe’re all going to need it.

      • Jacques July 30, 2018 at 2:16 am #

        Ah yea we still get all the slutsStandards just went up and the losers are flushed outAwe shucks broGene pool lottery, can’t all be winners.

  5. Jacques July 30, 2018 at 2:13 am #

    If only “failed writer in LA” wasn’t the most cliche thing of all time.

    Hilarious part about it is how they’re still in every Starbucks telling you about Bukowski and their own dreary existenceWithout a hint of self awareness or irony.

    LA is a town for winners, and their waiters and maids.

    • guest July 30, 2018 at 2:30 am #

      You keep on winning, bro.

    • Bonnes Tacos July 30, 2018 at 8:30 am #

      Bukowski lived a dreary life for many years, an alkie who stayed in ghetto bedsits, worked only lowlife blue collar jobs, drank only cheap booze and wine, got only ugly alkie pussy, along with having regular alley bum fights, wrote, wrote, wrotePretty good all in allI prefer his low rent poetry.

      (The woman he missed most was ugly alkie pussy who drank herself to death.)

      • Bonnes Tacos July 30, 2018 at 8:37 am #

        I think we can say with some confidence that everything worth publishing by Bukowski, by a wide margin, has by now been published.

        What I’m most curious about though, our genial host excepted, is the large corpus of Celine’s writings that has been held back from publication(“But why did they do that, grandpa?” “Hrrrm, what’s on TV? Go fetch my slippers.”)

      • smol August 13, 2018 at 10:16 am #

        I picked up a used copy of Burning I water, Drowning In Flame… the only Bukowski I’ve read so farGood stuff – pretty odd to read it after reading DT first, though.

        Do you write poetry, Tacos?

  6. nishikiprestige July 31, 2018 at 9:34 pm #

    Have you tried jerking off

  7. Randy August 1, 2018 at 12:01 am #

    Weird dreams, eh? Your psyche’s calling you to actionPay attentionOh and, your writing is fucking outstandingYou could make a living off it if you’d let yourself.

  8. Andrea August 2, 2018 at 11:00 am #

    Reading this is the highlight of my dayBut it’s only noonEither way, thank you for taking the time to make me laugh at the incredible lightness of beingMuah!

  9. Dammitman August 2, 2018 at 7:07 pm #

    I call you a faggot because you write about nothing but a moral wasteland –that’s all you see because instead of genuine soul searching and individualism you outsourced your spiritual life to AA and its juvenile attempts at team psychoanalysis

    I also call you a faggot because you sucked dick that one timeGay

    • 狗万是不是万博 August 2, 2018 at 7:38 pm #

      I’m calling you a faggot because you said “genuine soul searching and individualism”

      • Anonymous August 6, 2018 at 7:22 pm #

        Why don’t you faggots quit flirting and get a room, already?

      • Dammitman September 9, 2018 at 12:09 am #

        HahaGo cry more over your dead cat, bitch.

  10. Small August 7, 2018 at 1:57 pm #

    I know your dating prospects aren’t actually that badYou’re like some kind of fucked-up trapdoor spiderOr some kind of carnivorous bird, spastically flapping a wing on the beach until another tender-hearted young tourist comes close enough for a nibble.

    It’s good to see you posting – I always worry you’ll die ambiguously (“was it kink, suicide or a revenge murder?”) and we won’t find outGreat stuff as alwaysIf I could snap my fingers and make only one of us famous tomorrow, it would be you.

  11. Anonymous September 2, 2018 at 3:46 pm #

    Take it from a literal 10/10- women are ALL fucking (REDACTED)

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