What Do You Do

Nest Egg

Second Date

No Exit

The Zombie Zone

Angel of the Morning


Power Achiever



The Sherman Oaks Outdoorsman

The gun shop door was open but half the ceiling had collapsedThe Sherman Oaks OutdoorsmanHere too hissing sprinklers, shrieking alarmsHe had to press his fingertip into his left ear and still the back of his head rang with the sound of cicadasShelves fallen into each otherTile floor covered with flashlights and Rambo knives, spreadeagledGuns & Ammomagazines.Soldier of Fortuneopen to honeypot ads in the back for hit men, all sopping wetMarcy still catatonic in the ’79 Mercedes outside, in the handicapped spaceHe’d wrapped her in his picnic blanketStrapped her in like a babyEased the seat all the way back so her head wouldn’t stick upHe’d thought about taking another car, a 4-wheel driveBut the hallway floor tilted in and the first burned corpse he checked for keys groaned when he tried its pockets.

FUCKING GET DOWN GET DOWN GET DOWN a man was screamingA boom went off loud enough that the fire alarm seemed like nothingFlorescent light bulb glass and shredded foam ceiling tile fluttered down on his face.

All right! All right! I’m not–


He was out of adrenalineThe question was insultingGuns, he said.

Hey man– is that you?

Another insulting questionYeah I’m me, he thoughtBehind the back counter by the deli number dispenser the top of a red head inched upDirty white drowned corpse face, cut upDusty had on a tactical hunting 万博ag真人揭秘et with the tags still hanging offHe’d dragged the beef jerky display behind a cash register and half emptied it into a black duffel bagAlso with tagsThere was a crunch somewhere and the walls shook and the alarm squealed and stoppedIn the distance many othersBut no sirensFancy meeting you here, said DustyHis hands were bloody.

Dusty– are you going to kill me, he said.

No manI thought you might be them.


I don’t fuckin know.

May I uh,

Yeah, help yourself manBut I’m takin the foodAnd I’m takin the floor modelHe put down his black shotgun, straight out ofTerminator 2.Reached up where the mass shooter Bushmaster AR-15 hungPlucked it off its hook, peeled off the sign that said DUE TO HIGH DEMAND, OUT OF STOCK UNTIL FURTHER NOTICENot too much fuckin ammo for it though.

What do you think I should take.

What do you want to accomplish.

I don’t knowShoot people.

Well get a bag and go nuts man, but your issue is gonna be ammoThis place was always understockedEven before that fuckin AARP guy went ISIS.

He’d read the guy was government, but why argueEither was plausible.

In the end Dusty helped himMostlyHe got a nice nickelplated Smith and Wesson .357 revolverA rifle, a .45 with magazine as recommendedDusty showed him how they workedBows, arrows made to slice wild boars’ arteriesA .22 because Dusty was jealous over the other ammoGot to leave me some, he saidNice enough smile but his hand back on the gun22 won’t do much, said Dusty, but he remembered Speed Racer killing a moose with one in a movieBased on a true storyWhen his bag was almost too heavy he made to leaveWhere you gonna go, said Dusty.

Don’t know.

Anyone else in that building make it?

… just me.

Well good luck out there homie, said Dusty, and they hung quiet for a second like they should add each other on Facebook.


Marcy was still in the car, thank GodHe had to smash the Flame Broiler Teriyaki Bowl’s glass sliding door with a 万博ag真人揭秘 handleThe gas main had ruptured and the customers and cashiers burned alive, still smoking along with the griddle top beef and broccoliA little blue flame still whispering on the end of the metal hose by the stoveIn the pantry past the restroom where EMPLOYEES MUST WASH HANDS were 5 gallon buckets of vegetable oil, as he’d hopedHe made one last trip for a jar of fortune cookies, the only nonrefrigerated foodThe first aid kit under the manager’s deskWhen he got back in the driver’s seat she was conscious.

Where are you taking me, she said.

Out of LAHe started the car.

What happened in there.

They’re deadCan you trust me for a minute and keep your head down please, he said.


Just for a minute he said, and pulled outOK you can sit upLet me help you.

Up the street he stopped next to a fire hydrant; water oozing out around the bolts in the cracked concrete, already blackAround them trees on fireHouses collapsed, smokingThe wind picked up; a burningLA X-Presshooker paper blew onto the windshield with a 2 page color spread of SUCCULENT CHRISTINAShe was fat, looked 50He had to reach around out the window to peel her offTo the south and east, smoke columns churning dark and swarming with lightningNo cars on the road but half the phone poles were down, wires snaking onto the asphaltHow to get outHe reached across her waist and cranked the plastic dial forward to raise up her seat back.

I’m sorry to be weird but I don’t think we can let people see you, he saidWhatever men are left will want a car and a girlHe turned on the radioFor a full minute the Emergency Broadcast System tone played, indicating an emergencyNo shitHe turned it off.

What happened, she said againHe said: nuclear holocaust.

I have to find my parents–

Where are they?

El Cerrito.

They’re probably deadShe gasped and he said, oh my god—I’m sorryNow she was cryingHe made a mental note to behave like a human beingShe didn’t knowNobody knewHe held her handShe didn’t moveIt’s a coordinated attack, he saidIt’ll be all overWe’re lucky to be alive.

And where are you taking me, she said again.

We have to get to the countrySomewhere where there’s water–

Well if it’s everywhere what’s the point–

It will only be cities, he said.

How do you know?

Because I almost made it happen.

11 Responses to “Finally, Some Good News (Part 6)”

  1. bowler hat October 22, 2017 at 7:03 pm #

    good stuffall three installments of thisevidence that you have a book in you.

    • bucky October 22, 2017 at 8:01 pm #

      Yes, I was thinking the sameDT should flesh this out into a novelI’d buy it! No joke, I just installed Kindle on my phone.

  2. Anony-fucking-mous October 23, 2017 at 8:21 pm #

    Holy crap.
    Just went back and read zombie zone, this is wondrousThank you.

  3. Anonymous October 23, 2017 at 8:56 pm #

    Good shitAwesome to see another part so soon, this series is unfolding nicely.

  4. Small October 26, 2017 at 10:29 am #

    I love thisGood to see you getting out of the house, so to speak.

  5. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx October 28, 2017 at 10:23 pm #

    you may have fucked up but at least you are not a 30 year old virgin like myself

    • Anonymous October 29, 2017 at 5:26 pm #

      Wait 5 more years until you are a 35 year old virgin.

      Then, go kill yourself for being dickless.

      • xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx October 29, 2017 at 7:17 pm #

        how about i cut off your dick and use that, faggot
        you don’t have the rage to stop me.

      • 狗万是不是万博 October 29, 2017 at 7:50 pm #

        Please be kind to one another.

      • xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx October 30, 2017 at 4:19 am #

        i mean, he’s not WRONG, but still


  1. Sticky: Finally, Some Good News | 狗万是不是万博-October 29, 2017

    […] The Sherman Oaks Outdoorsman […]

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