Archive | February, 2013

她不喜欢它

28 二月

when I hassle her about other girls.  Did you get that girl’s number.  We could have a three way with her.  Pressuring her into three ways when I just want a new piece of pussy.  I ask her because she has it so much easier.  Girls can go up to girls and just say “you’re hot.”  You don’t have to pretend you don’t want it.  It’s such a fucking process with men and women.  You, you can go up and say fuck me.

You ask me to move your fucking couch, I ask you talk to girls.   Why don’t you do it yourself, she says.  She has contempt for my neediness.  Asking her to ask for pussy implies that I can’t get pussy on my own.  Well look: I get pussy, but I still need more pussy.  There isn’t so much pussy in the world that I won’t run out.

一千艘船

26 二月

What killed me was the way she walked.  She would pick up her feet like a cat in a litter box not wanting to step in its piss.  Like a fawn trotting.  It made her ass shake in that sheer little Wilma Flintstone dress and she knew it.  She was “bubbly.”  Friendly.  She dropped a piece of ice and the host said it’s great to watch you bend over and she giggled like it was 1962 and no one ever got sued.  She laughed in a way that let you pretend.  You know she’s fucking some yoga instructor or some Russian guy for money but you can’t remember these things like you can’t remember the alphabet backwards when a cop’s shining a klieg light in your eyes.继续阅读

受保护:互联网是邪恶的

26 二月

此内容受密码保护要查看它,请在下面输入您的密码:

产品评论:Kidde®组合烟雾/一氧化碳报警器,型号KN-COSM-IB

22 二月

组合-烟一氧化碳-alarm_install

I woke up and a demonic metal brontosaurus was leaning over me, shrieking, and then murmuring in a woman’s voice.  Behind her was Satan, in a long black cloak with glowing red eyes.  I screamed and screamed.  “Low battery” said the demon.  What the fuck?  “Low battery.”  What– Satan was my coat, his eyes were the reflection of my alarm clock in the window.  The dinosaur was my lamp.  I must have taken my phone off vibrate, it was telling me to charge it.  Weird, it had never done that before.  I could hear the neighbors thumping upstairs, thinking I’d been gutted.  Their dog was freaking out.  I found the phone, turned it off.  Started drifting off again.  Dreamt I was on a boat in the oceanMona was there, her sun-warm skin, her belly.  The wind.  Sardines glimmering in the sunlight under the waves…继续阅读

失业日记:就业市场

21 二月

jobbureau

You get scared when you leave a white collar job that you’re gonna end up picking up trash.  Well, not to worryYou can’t get that job.  It’s a union gig.  A city gig你会害怕你会像Bukowski一样被困在一些精神崩溃的公务员队伍中But you can’t get a job at the post office.  They’re cutting back.  You have to know somebody.  You can’t get a job flipping burgers.  You’re overqualified (in my case, this is真正)You can’t do shit labor on a construction site.  Half of Mexico is up here trying to do that.

So what can you do.  You can get a job in a STEM field, they tell you.  If only you had gotten your degree in a STEM field, you would be in great demand.  Science, technology, engineering, mathematics.  A computer programmer, in other words.  Do you know how fucking hard that shit is?  I could barely pass my intro to C++ class, and I’m聪明.  Your ability to do that shit is purely genetic, and it’s the same gene that makes you smell like cheese and talk like that恋童癖者的RealDoll极度响亮和令人难以置信的关闭.  Hearing that little pussy talk makes me think we need more bullying in schools.  There is no talented computer programmer on the face of this earth who can buy a six pack at the liquor store and make small talk with the clerk normally.  There certainly isn’t one who can speak to a woman 继续阅读

受保护:阅读器邮箱:战斗和监狱

21 二月

此内容受密码保护要查看它,请在下面输入您的密码:

赶时髦的人第2部分

20 二月

时髦开衫

先前

I am in a coffee shop slash independent book store drinking a 3 dollar cup of tea called “White Orchard.”  In ancient China, only kings and queens were allowed to drink white tea, the foil packet tells me.  I am wearing a cardigan.  Avant garde jazz featuring baritone sax is playing.  I am surrounded by people looking at Tumblrs on brushed titanium Mac laptops that were not purchased with their own money.  The coffee shop  is owned by Dave Eggers.  I want to walk in and beat my own ass.

I am an unemployed white man with skinny jeans on and three days’ growth of beard hunting and pecking into a laptop in a coffee house at noon on a Wednesday.  This is like the moment where a promising young black guy on his way to college makes one small mistake and finds himself on the prison bus.  I am looking down at my shackles contemplating how I threw everything away.  I would bristle when they called me a hipster.  Nothing hip about me, I would say.  I work in an office.  No one can be hip when they use Microsoft Excel regularly.  Not now.继续阅读