归档| 2013年1月,

获得被解雇的日记:自由节前夕

31 一月

从flickr用户andysternberg窃取的图像。

Tomorrow is Freedom Day.  My last day of work.  Most people in my work orbit don’t even know.  I don’t know how to tell them.  I don’t want to have the same conversation over and over. 我离开公司.  They’ll try to sound out whether I left or got fired.  In fact, there is some nuance.  I’m getting fired, but I fucking真的很想要to get fired.  Like when your house burns down but you hated that fucking house anyway, it was the fucking Amityville house with demons crawling out of pools of blood and you hallucinated that every meal was full of maggots, and at least now you can collect insurance.  They want to say我很抱歉; they want to show sympathy for what they think I must be unhappy and scared about.  I don’t know any of these people, I realize now.  They don’t know me.  Because these jobs are like getting paid to slam your dick in a car door over and over  and anyone who does them is a fucking idiot.  We have such a short life; I have wasted so much of it at this.  I am glad to be free and I am sorry you’re still here, saying your work is going great like a battered wife talks about her marriage.继续阅读

喂鸟:

三十 一月

猫笨人

所以我听到了猫每年杀死20亿人.  Listen up: you can FUCKING FLY, for Christ’s sake如果猫把企鹅是一回事,但是你他妈的能飞你整天坐在电话线如果你在地上五分钟内无法留意,当你看到一只猫时,会吃一些老太太的陈旧面包和飞走,我没有同情好了,你有翼jerkoffs。

与这些女性总是相同的狗屎

三十 一月

如果是关于你的话,不要读这个。

She is going crazy.  Asking if she can delete my number and facebook, then instantaneously OKC messaging me saying I DON’T HAVE YOUR NUMBER OR FACEBOOK SO I DON’T KNOW HOW GET IN TOUCH WITH YOUCAN YOU TAKE ALL REFERENCES TO ME ON YOUR WEB SITE DOWN.  She is going to accuse me of rape or something.  Or have some guy kick my ass哦。继续阅读

狗屎工作:麦当劳

27 一月

价格上调

以前麦当劳的谈话这里这里

I was sixteen and my mom made me get a job.  Again.  Learn the工作的价值.  She was right, it’s a lesson I retain decades later: the value of work is less than fucking zero, a negative eating away at your soul and your life.  So, thanks.  I applied at the McDonald’s in Kingston, Mass.

You had to buy your own McDonald’s shirt and special synthetic pocketless pants so you couldn’t walk out with a ninety nine cent hamburger warmed to ass temperature.  They took the money out of your first couple checks.   The checks came three weeks late; they’d docked sixty eight bucks for the uniforms they’d sold you, and taxes were taken out, something like a third of your check.  At that point you’d been working dozens of hours in the sweltering hissing clamoring kitchen, alarms constantly blaring, six hundred degree grills an inch away from the meat of your hands, swabbing the greasy tiles over and over with a filthy mop every time there was a two second lull in orders, getting yelled at– you got your check and it was fucking nothing.  You had known what taxes were in an abstract sense, the ten per cent federal tax bracket, but what you didn’t know was state tax, city tax, FICA, SDI… weird acronyms… your check came an ungodly amount of time later and there was nothing left.  The value of work.  Cleaning the toilet, a filthy log of shit breaching in piss yellow water with toilet paper snaked over the bowl and onto the floor about one out of every four times you went in there– the value of work.继续阅读

Tag Team Reader Mailbag:让年轻女孩醉酒

25 一月

XXX-jug

“Juan Stabone”写道:

作为一个不喝酒的人,我在三个月的时间里遇到了两次绝对痛苦的情况:这个女孩在我的位置,一切都很好在一个案例中,我甚至连她的乳房然后她基本上沟通说她已经躺下了,但她不能操我,因为她没有任何酒,不够舒服当然,之后都失去了。

fffffffffuuuuuuuu

他们都在敲打,热Not like the animals you (狗万是不是万博) seem to have relations with个月后,没有一天过去了,我不后悔两次我开发了一个PTSD的小病例。

So anyway, what kind of alcohol do I buy to get young girls drunk at my place? I assume there is some sort of fruity wine thing I can put in a sippy cup for them, but I just don’t know anything about booze.

妮可说:继续阅读

向我们发送您的性和关系问题

23 一月

仅供参考:Nikol D.小号Hasler)一个专家in Teen Sex Education, and myself, an expert in having sex with uneducated teens, will field your sex & relationship questions if they’re at all inspiring.  Send submissions to: 狗万是不是万博dotcom@gmail.com

或者留在评论中。

女性

23 一月

Very little matters to women except that you don’t give a shit about them.  If you can get that going, no slight is unforgivable.  They are single issue voters. 激情和抱负和信心,他们会说。干得好,身材高大,听听正确的音乐.  Wrong.  A short dispassionate unambitious self-loathing unemployed gnome is digging that ass out to some Slayer.  There was just something about him.