宠物理论:巴拉克•奥巴马(Barack Obama)现在糟透了,因为他戒烟

12 10月

你曾经戒烟?  For a year? Five years? A decade?

No.  No you didn’t.  Because if you ever smoked, you still look at a cigarette in front of you like it’s the other guy on the deserted island turning into a talking hot dog in those old Looney Tunes cartoonsYou walk past one of those tall outdoor ashtrays with a nice long butt in it and you turn your head as you walk, track it with your eyes.  And your heart beats a little faster.  You imagine it– the feeling, the tickly rush over your limbs as you take that first deep drag, hold it in; your head takes off with sparkles and stars and suddenly everything’s going to be只是他妈的好.  You will never feel that again.  You will never even feel “OK” again.  If anything remotely adversarial happens you will ascend into an ever-escalating paranoid freakout and blame everyone around you for everything bad that ever happened until you want to murder your own children with your bare hands你永远不会,永远能做任何事You didn’t quit smoking.  You’re just waiting too god damn long for your next cigaretteFiending for decades while your mind slows and your soul turns into a hard flinchy thing that only knows hate.  Friends, family, society, helping people– who gives a fuck.  I need to glare out the window and mutter about those who done me wrongGonna get them back some day.  Once I get the energy.

还记得当巴拉克•奥巴马(Barack Obama)曾说,你感觉什么东西吗?神圣的操,这家伙听起来像马丁·路德·金。 我不能相信我感兴趣,从事什么政治家是说。  You flipped out for him.  He was smart, sure, but he also had real fucking passion.  Go watch an old clip of the guy.  Watch him talking to those black college kids in that演讲福克斯新闻是再热就算了旧的种族主义者他移动人这是同一个人你可以认为是一个明星运动员和黑豹在卧室里等。社区组织者要门到门在一些被遗忘的末日后棚户区的电线,和让人们唯一的经验与政府是一根警棍的业务结束了他们的牙齿,让这些人从事城市政治他移动people, and he loved what he was doing.  It showed.

He smoked back then.  All the way through the ’08 campaignAnd then he quit.  His medical report in ’08 said “continue smoking cessation efforts.”  He was chewing Nicorette.  Which, I fucking love Nicorette, but only when complemented by a nice healthy Camel Filter at the beginning and end of the day.  You need that stabbing in your lungs, that burning, a hit of pain that lets you know the medicine went inBut since he was on a doctor-supervised medical program, he would have quit the Nicorette too.  He would have staggered it down slowly over several months, six pieces a day, four pieces a day, two pieces a day– from the auspicious beginning of his presidency to the long drawn out months when it became clear he couldn’t get任何东西国会通过他从来没有picked up the phone and called legislators to push shit through, even Democrats.  He hated socializing, Washington parties– that’s where you get shit done.  That’s where you have a brandy with John Boehner and have a laugh and talk about old pussy and golf or fishing or whateverthefuck and in your heart you realize this guy isn’t so bad, let’s get something done together.  Have a shared legacy.  Even Bill Clinton and Newt Gingrich did thisBut Obama said he had to spend time with his daughters.  MrPresident: first of all, fuck your daughters; they’ll live.  But also: they want to spend time with你,not this crabby worn out simulacrum of you.  The real you that they love is the you who smokes.

然后他不抽烟with chainsmoking John Boehner during the budget negotiations.  This is what killed the historic compromise that the normally intransigent Congress was ready to make如果他们有一个香烟在一起,交易会了因为这个秘密债券,吸烟者在这个紧张缝纫的社会圈子我们对这个世界。

必须是米歇尔who made him quit.  Her and whatever candyass square they hired as White House Physician. Barack, we want you to be around to see Sasha and Malia grow up; the country needs to you to be healthy. Bullshit.  Lung cancer is determined by genetics, smoking accounts for about ten per cent of the variance*, and the country does not need you running a four minute mile.  The country needs you精神上  healthy and quitting smoking temporarily shatters and permanently saps your mental health.  You will never not be dumb, short-fused and miserable if you once smoked and now you don’t.  You will always be cruel and hostile and paranoid.  That’s why they give nicotine to patients with Alzheimer’s.  It’s a god damn miracle drug that keeps your mind working, keeps the juices circulating.  If you have ever tasted this feeling, then forevermore…香料必须流。

Now Obama is just lame.  Andrew Sullivan was正确的关于辩论——他的屁股交给他But it’s not just the debate.  Every time the guy opens his mouth you can tell he hates being there, hates what he’s doing, just wants to go home and glare out a window and mutter about all the people who fucked him over and how he’s going to get them back.  He’s turned into Nixon on BenadrylListening to Barack Obama now inspires the opposite of hope.  Of passion.  He makes you cringe.  He makes you wince like a cold hand on the back of your neck and you feel like if you went up and talked to the guy his face would be trying to lift his smile like Jared struggling to lift his baggy fat pants around his newly skinny frame.  And his eyes would tell you that he hates you.  That he just wants to go home.  Fuck this “president” and “America” shit, I just want a motherfucking cigarette.

先生President: for yourself, for your family, for our country: pick up a nice fat cigarette and smoke that shit down like it was Karl Rove smoking some poolboy’s cock.  Feel the burn; feel the pain; feel the damage ravaging your lungs.  Then feel the bliss, the super speed, the信心trickling into your brain and lifting your heart to the heavens.  Our problems aren’t so bad.  Congress isn’t so insurmountableThe Middle East isn’t so crushing.  Let’s get out there and do this, America希望改变Tobacco.  Mr总统:妈的爱,走出去和燃烧否则你只是行尸走肉。

*不是一个实际的事实。

35反应”宠物理论:巴拉克•奥巴马(Barack Obama)现在糟透了因为他戒烟”

  1. 几率 2012年10月12日下午2:41点 #

    “Candyass”4 chan说你好!

  2. 杰克 2012年10月12日下午9:26点 #

    我变老,我看所有的恶习我跳过追赶最近雷达上的吸烟已经到来现在你的博文…让人怀疑Am I missing out on something, being a non-smoker? I’m starting to think so.

    • pffffffftttsssssssiimmbllllllddddddnnnnnnnnn 2012年10月13日下午3点 #

      不,你不是When you first start smoking you have to run a gauntlet of torturous side-effects before you get to the point where you can casually enjoy a cigarette – nausea, headaches, dizziness, coughing, your mouth waters from the acrid taste so you’re constantly spitting; all of these things far outweigh any euphoric effects at first这就是为什么你很少看到人们拿起习惯作为成年人。

      当你14,你只是好奇和渴望足以承受这一切,直到你达到所有你周围的成年人吸烟的冷淡的水平似乎已经达到了And then the next thing you know you can’t even vigorously fuck your girlfriend without losing your breath and resorting to smothering her missionary style while ramming your cock in her as hard as you can to try to make up for your lack of endurance; she feels like she’s getting fucked by an unhealthy bearAnd then she takes up running as a way to deal with the pain of her father dying; she runs like the fucking gingerbread man, and she wants you to start running with her, cause she cares about your health and well-being and all that bullshit, but you just resent her for fucking with your life’s work, which is killing yourself as slowly and as pleasantly as possibleBut then you promise to go on some 5k run with her for ovarian cancer, because you watched your grandmother die of ovarian cancer so the cause is close to you, but it’s on a Saturday morning and you wind up getting so fucking drunk the night before that you can barely drag yourself to the methadone clinic, let alone run 5 kilometers – of course, once again you have proven yourself to be selfish and unreliable, Jake她开始意识到,你们两个不是在同一个地方情感,或任何其他方式,所以这几乎意味着结束你们的关系。

      不知不觉已经过了15年以来第一次有吸烟,现在这是唯一副你已经离开You sit in front of your computer drinking cups of coffee and chain smoking while typing out novella sized comments on relatable internet blogs, you smoke like a pack and a half of Marlboro Reds a day, and it starts to have this weird reverse effect on you to where you can’t even fucking breath in the morning UNTIL you’ve had a cigarette; it becomes a needed expectorant.

      但是没关系,因为你发送这个华丽,emerald-eyed,黑发21岁的女孩,看起来就像一个年轻版的雪儿一个滑稽的消息给你将如何吃一些极其强大的止痛药,和风险致命伤害滑雪几乎垂直,大量树木繁茂的山坡,如果你知道她是要等待的底部尽管参考了他妈的头——她的21岁的她没有他妈的线索雪儿或桑尼波诺——她还发信息说你明天回来见到你,同意在当地的餐厅吃早餐所以,没关系,杰克像顽皮的天性曾经说过,“一切会好的”…她不会得到参考,。

      • 匿名 2012年10月14日晚上23点 #

        嘿pffffffftttsssssssiimmbllllllddddddnnnnnnnnn,我们可以阅读更多的你的写作吗?

      • pffffffftttsssssssiimmbllllllddddddnnnnnnnnn 2012年10月15日11:29点 #

        我不会真的叫它写作,更像是有意识的涂鸦但是你可以阅读更多的这个博客的评论档案这是关于它的我没有我自己的博客或类似的东西,我只是把我在心情不好的时候在这里废话DT似乎并不介意,或者他做他从来没有说过任何东西。

        总之,日期是一个伟大的成功……嗯,不是真正的,但是它是好的I didn’t get laid; I never get laid on a first date because I don’t drink, and I’m not about to go sit in a bar and drink fucking Shirley Temples while I watch some chick get hammered; I would rather go on a date to a fucking Guantanamo Bay interrogation simulator than do that早午餐,过得愉快吗不幸的是,两个血腥玛丽她与蓝莓煎饼还不够让她吹我在桌子底下I explained to her who Sonny Bono was: “you ever see Groundhog Day? Sonny Bono sings the song that Bill Murray wakes up to everyday in that movie, ‘just put your little hand in mine, there ain’t no mountain we can’t get killed on.'” Then I took her down to the Bocce courts at the park and taught her how to play with all the oldheads out there好轻松的周日。

    • sylviasarah 2012年10月13日下午33点 #

      Haven’t you had fun with better things? Smoking is only fun when you’re too drunk to care about the smell除此之外,它只是给你一个理由休息五分钟,而不是射击死亡射线刺激你的眼睛的人。

      • pffffffftttsssssssiimmbllllllddddddnnnnnnnnn 2012年10月13日10:04点 #

        Do you ever respond to anything within context? Who said anything about fun? People don’t smoke because it’s fun; they smoke because it relieves stress and anxiety实际的吸烟者,而不是神经兮兮的婊子在酒吧,想要一口你的香烟后,她有太多的海风。

      • sylviasarah 2012年10月13日11:29点 #

        操你的沙发上我不知道你了,但是,我做我想做的事这个measely四年我在勒海军服役,但我要继续使用那个小言论自由我进行了我的东西我的卵巢。

      • 匿名 2012年10月14日12:35点 #

        哈哈。

      • 匿名 2012年10月14日下午5点 #

        她的肥胖,让她休息一下。

      • sylviasarah 2012年10月14日下午5点38 #

        你们真的觉得你让我感觉不好但我只是觉得如果DT的博客是一个电视节目,我是短暂的分拆Obese or not, you’re feeding me attention! mwahahahahaha.

      • sylviasarah 2012年10月14日,第3点 #

        😦如果我可以编辑我将改变类似,如果我肥胖只是因为你们给我这么多的关注假装我写道。

      • 匿名 2012年10月14日下午5:49点 #

        我不想伤害你的感情,我真的认为你是肥胖耸耸肩。

      • sylviasarah 2012年10月14日下午5:57 #

        哦根据Heartiste范围内我还不会笑我也不是医学上肥胖但这只是如果你遵循指南非常严格但这可能是一个肥胖的人会说。

      • 匿名 2012年10月14日7:27点 #

        你不喜欢吃健康的方式和锻炼?

      • sylviasarah 2012年10月14日下午56点 #

        我觉得脏不再试图钢读者除非你问我事情需要长长的解释和DT的职位无关。

      • sylviasarah 2012年10月14日下午3:38点 #

        哈哈,你cray-z我会做,作为一个博客10月22日,我有一篇文章解释了为什么我觉得我很胖,你可以交往我进入一个世界,肥胖是不可接受的不过,我不能保证我会照顾给我发邮件更多的问题让我偷你!

        如果我是DT我现在恨我他从一个星期回来,而不是他的所有读者口中泡沫等待更多黄金,有少数人给我聚光灯下这是寒冷的,兄弟先发制人,我不认为DT真的在乎,我只是说,如果dt.com是我写的,就不会是这样,我就会幸福是的,是的,是的,他不是一个神经兮兮的chubbo没有生命,胡说,胡说,胡说,其他预期negativi-tie。

      • pffffffftttsssssssiimmbllllllddddddnnnnnnnnn 2012年10月15日,在47点 #

        我不谈论你,我是在谈论一个理论神经兮兮的女孩在酒吧喝醉。

      • sylviasarah 2012年10月16日4:06 #

        Really? So you did not mean to infer a link between my comment on smoking being only fun when you’re drunk and your comment about a ditzy bitches at bars? I accept我倾向于认为,人人都在谈论我自负的方式,而不是疯狂的方式。

      • 匿名 2012年10月16日涨幅 #

        悲伤,突出你的生活是你得到的“关注”的人写的评论。

      • 凯西 2012年10月16日上午9点54分起飞 #

        老兄,她是脂肪和丑陋的——这就是他对女性生活垃圾——至少让她觉得她的聪明和有趣的地方. .

      • sylviasarah 2012年10月16日上午41 #

        我从来没有说过我觉得聪明和有趣我不是一个跑来跑去谈论智商好像意味着什么,在事情的宏伟计划,肥胖和丑陋并不是最坏的打算我的阴道可以强行缝起来或者我可以有女性阉割肥胖和丑陋的ol '我们仍然是一个第一世界的问题我不介意。

      • 匿名 ,2012年10月16日 #

        你拼错的”“你愚蠢的女人。

      • 凯西 2012年10月16日上午10点 #

        酷,我的女人有一个天才的智商这不是脂肪小鸡呢?

      • Fakegirlfriend 2012年10月16日16点 #

        了每个人的关注脂肪是什么Fatfatfatfatfat也许一个人的包fatcells皮肤。

      • sylviasarah 2012年10月16日上午28 #

        所有这些爱,因为我对吸烟的留言我没有生活。

        哦,做一些完全出乎意料的Cahy方式只是说,在“他们”并不意味着他们接受你无论你多么吻他们的驴,你要一个愚蠢的女人至少他们粘在一起谢谢你访问我的博客You must have seen some of my pics in order to justifiably call me ugly, right? Or did you mean like, I have an ugly soul or something?

      • sylviasarah 2012年10月16日上午32 #

        以免你高智商废话都应该纠正我,凯西被排除的“t”的目的。

  3. 嘿nonny鼠标 2012年10月13日下午59 #

    完全同意。

  4. pffffffftttsssssssiimmbllllllddddddnnnnnnnnn 2012年10月13日下午4点 #

    后工业化的棚户区I believe that aspect was covered in season 2 – the gutting and gentrification of Northeastern cities like Baltimore.

    • pffffffftttsssssssiimmbllllllddddddnnnnnnnnn 2012年10月13日下午4:33点 #

      嘿,为什么不嵌入的视频了?

      • pffffffftttsssssssiimmbllllllddddddnnnnnnnnn 2012年10月13日10:07点 #

        测试的东西。

      • 匿名 2012年10月14日下午5:01点 #

        DT知道那个家伙在大学生。

      • sylviasarah 2012年10月15日9:02点 #

        Hahaha! IBS…

      • pffffffftttsssssssiimmbllllllddddddnnnnnnnnn 2012年10月15日上午10点43分 #

        嗯,伊拉肯定不会授权使用他们的名字在码头显示描绘犯罪和腐败Half of their fucking locals are under the supervision of the DOJ as it is; they don’t need any more bad publicity.

      • sylviasarah 2012年10月16日凌晨29 #

        😦我想念bmore

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