Archive | August, 2012

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31 八月

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罗恩保罗给了我一个岩石坚硬的脉动勃起与尖端的精确露珠

三十 八月


转自评论部分我尊敬的同事的帖子。

昨晚我坐在我的房子里受到了重创,并且出于某种原因提起了一些Ron Paul youtube视频或者不是“某种原因 - ”我在考虑政治,我记得如何占领洛杉矶罗恩保罗人是那里唯一一个对抗议应该是什么的一致想法的人他们有最热的小鸡“这个罗恩保罗是谁,”我想“他的追随者非常自豪。”

看着Ron Paul youtube剪辑感觉就像发现了一个你从未认识过的疯狂恋物癖的色情片段第一个奇怪的色情片给了你有史以来最快,最难的,并且永远呈现了你回顾过去看过“meh”的所有香草色情片我曾经看过其他的pols,偶尔会觉得“嗯...这真的是真的,我猜。”但是,Ron Paul的嘴巴里的每一个他妈的东西让我在空中挥拳,然后大声说“他妈的”这是情绪化的听到并赞同真理的深刻喜悦,以及在一次重大党派辩论中听到一位政治家的震惊请讲真相就像 - “圣洁的狗屎,我正在看一个政治家,在新闻中,而且他说的是狗屎的方式真相!“哥斯拉闯进大楼,眼睛盯着沃尔夫·布利泽(Wolf Blitzer),在电视直播的电视剧中,我不会感到惊讶如此惊讶我感到很遗憾我们的社会和政治如此性交,以至于这个家伙被认为是疯子他说的每一个他妈的事情显然都是正确的 - 他如何被解雇为疯子jerkoff不仅是“建立”,而且每个我认识的人基本上都和我一样对待政治看,我他妈的也恨Ayn Rand,相信我,我每天都感谢上帝堕胎,但是 - 他妈的过去了,人们这家伙已经八十岁了,来自那个小镇标志他说:“N * gger,不要让太阳落在你身上。”你可以原谅几个质朴的反动抽搐。继续阅读

读者邮件Sac:我对我的阴道不安全

29 八月

“我认识的每个女孩”写道,不断说:

“我有孩子后会害怕它会成为走廊里的热狗。”

“它是真实的,烤得很好就像,内唇太大了那狗屎看起来好像被咀嚼了水果皮。“

“我对阴道的气味,味道和外观都不安全,等等等等。”

继续阅读

商业评论:回声公园Royale Junior Liquor Market

28 八月

从Flickr用户“OrangeCounty_Girl”中窃取图像

(最初张贴于喊叫。

I must say I like the lack of personal interest the clerk at the Royale Junior Liquor Market has in my purchasing habits.  I mean, he may not even notice– he’s working at the type of place where he’s in front of a giant wall of Old Crow pint bottles and novelty skull and pistol shaped fifths of tequila, behind three quarters of an inch of GE® Lexan™ bulletproof plexiglass.  He faces a large shelf of pornographic DVD’s specifically tailored to the prurient interests of working-class Mexicans, whose bright eye-catching covers leave nothing to the imagination.  Shit is distractingHe has more things to worry about than my weird unnecessarily frequent and expensive daily purchases of small bottles of alcohol.  He has to stock nine different kinds of non FDA-approved herbal pill packets designed to enlarge your penis, give you bigger and more meaningful erections, enhance your sexual desire until is as that ofel tigre.  He has to eyeball stumbling drunk day laborers as they come dangerously close to shoplifting a Payday; ward off these miscreants with merely the shaming power of his gaze.  He has to vigilantly head off customers steering toward the inoperable ATM machine in front– he clearly prides himself on sparing them a useless button push and confounded few seconds of bewilderment– “Hey! Is not working.”  The ATM is never working, but the giant glowing sign telling the public that the store has an ATM is always working.继续阅读

账单

27 八月

Just going to work should be enough.  Just having a job should be enough.  Going in there ten hours per day.  “Networking.”  Reading work related material on weekends.  All the absurd time and energy demands of any “professional” “career” type gig in 2012 are more than enough of a burden on a human being’s brief life.

But you gotta pay the bills.  You gotta register your car.  You gotta serve jury duty.  You gotta do your taxes.  You have to go to the doctor, and sit in the waiting room, and fill out insurance forms which you have already filled out many times.  You have to go to the doctor again because the first doctor never knows what the fuck he is talking aboutNo general practitioner on the entire god damn planet is ever of any use whatsoever in terms of diagnosing, treating, or curing disease.  Always has to be the specialist, which you have to go to the general practitioner so you can even get told to go to the specialistFind the specialist covered by your insurance plan.  Call the specialist, make an appointment with the specialist.  The specialist, like every other professional and business, is only open at the exact same time as you are working; you will have to take the time off of work.  This does not mean that amount of work goes away, mind you.  There is no one “covering” for anybody at work in 2012; productivity is maximized; man hours are stretched tight as a drum.  You will need to do this work in off hours, still ailing from what the specialist was unable to diagnose, treat, or cure, because it turns out所有医生完全没用If you are a doctor, fuck you.  Call the insurance company about the bills you got from the general practitioner and specialist, argue with them; get put on hold, get hung up on on hold, call them, get on hold again.  The toilet is broken.  Call somebody to fix the toilet.  They only operate during normal business hours.  Wait for the guy to come fix the toilet.
继续阅读

你做了什么第2部分

26 八月

我开始告诉别人我是一名鹰隼。

Not even in a “game” way; I just got so sick of the他妈的问题I just spent sixty hours “doing” what I fucking “do” and now I’m trying to enjoy a beer in my hairsbreadth of free time and you’re making me think about the merciless glare of the computer screen; my cruel, sniveling boss; the phone constantly ringing with bullshit every two god damn seconds so that even in my dreams I hear the bleating of that ringer like the call of some horrible demon bird这是第一个无聊的人问每一个母亲谈话的问题,而且很粗鲁所以我给了他们一个废话古怪的回答,作为一种方式告诉他们甚至要求他妈的。

但女孩们总是相信我他们会感到兴奋和好奇,并且会提出更多关于我实际工作的问题的跟进问题,这可能是好莱坞的“开发主管”。尽管我真正的工作应该让你得到(但事实并非如此)所以我一直把它填满我对猎鹰真的很感兴趣在猛禽中没有什么比看到红隼在栅栏上下车更让我高兴的了而不是看到一对交配的苍鹰一起表演空中杂技Where I’m from seeing a red tailed hawk waiting on the phone lines for a squirrel to get run over is a red letter day so the embarrassment of riches w/r/t falcons, hawks, owls and eagles here in SoCal has been a great boon to me我会对那些了解这些鸟类的女孩进行评论。继续阅读

唔,至少

25 八月

I’m not short.  At least I’m not fat.  At least I’m not bald, although if I ever开始going bald you better god damn believe I will have plugs planted in rows like a freshly planted cornfield.  At least I do not have clinical micropenis仅仅是一个普通大小的白人男性的阴茎,面对由于色情内容而膨胀的阴茎期望,并且只有那些有着巨大的阴茎的家伙感觉很舒服地展示他们的阴茎,感觉like clinical micropenis.  At least I don’t have AIDS.  At least I don’t have herpes.  At least I don’t have adult acne.  Or anything that needs to have “adult” in front of it.  Adult ADD, I don’t need to use adult diapers, etc.  At least I’m not out in the street wrapped in 6 parkas swatting yellow 万博ag真人揭秘ets away from my collection of malt liquor cans, hypervigilantly guarding my hoard of layers and layers of plastic grocery bags wrapped protectively within still more layers of plastic grocery bags from the watchful eye of the government.