2012年4月,归档|

另一个原因我爱肯尼·罗杰斯

30. 四月

In the 90’s, Kenny got busted for having phone sex with his three mistresses, when his marriage was falling apart.  The way it worked was KENNY SET UP A FUCKING 800 NUMBER FOR THEM and when they called, they would hear a recording of Kenny describing sex fantasies.  Stuff like: “He’s a big guy, six foot three maybe, but a great body你可以说,他一直在阳光下He’s so gentle with you and he takes his pants off and he’s got on these underwear that are kind of silk underwear … and you feel his skin all over you“。

这是屎的爱情小说Kenny considerately put some thought into what women might want and tried laying it down in the soothing road-worn voice of Kenny Rogers.  Any other dude would have been like “and then I fuck your face till you choke on my cock and pull out and jizz on your sister’s tits,” etc肯尼的性幻想是完全无私的。

被殴打时,这就是他所说的:“这不像我带着十四岁的女孩把它们绑起来喂他们毒品,我的意思是,这些都是对话These were words.” FUCK YEAH I DID IT AND IT WAS NO BIG FUCKING DEAL- GET OFF MY BACK.  Kenny has balls.

保护:日记11/15/10:试图记住女孩我最近去骨

29 四月

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日记:对OkCupid简介感到愤怒

28 四月

该死的上帝——你为什么都是女孩所以他妈的无聊This is how old I am, this is where I’m from, this is what I do– I love my job!  I love my family and friends!  Go fuck your family and friends.  I hope your family and friends are all on a bus and it explodes in a fiery wreck.  I hope your job fires you and you are forced to suck dick under an underpass你会希望你的家人和朋友在那里帮助你,但他们将在一场火热的残骸中死去。

Just— you fucking chickenshits have to start showing a little actual personality.  Who fucking cares what people think of you— you’re on the goddamn internet没有人在乎。

或者 - 我们只是......让我们做吧假设you love your family and friends.  From now on, let’s only make it a point to mention them if you dolove your family and friends.  Everybody loves their family and friends, even me.  Let’s just say something about your family if they beat and molested you; that’s the only thing that could possibly make them interesting即使我爱我的家人,虽然我很乐意为一个有钱的家庭交易他们,而我的朋友们最终每年都会更换一次。

社会主义保姆式国家听起来很他妈的太棒了

27 四月

My friend had an abortion in Holland.  She’s hot, so my initial reaction after she told me was to go home and masturbate to the thought of popping off an unprotected nut in her.  But after that, I started thinking about socialism.

Because the whole story started out with this horror– there was some painful complication; she’d had to be hospitalized for weeks after, and it would have been a nightmare for this broke, wayward girl who is about as organized in life as any good looking unemployed actress in her twenties– it would have been a nightmare, except everything was taken care of and free.  There was no bill at the end of this abortion and then internal bleeding and weeks of inpatient care and then follow up home visits and friendly helpful people telling her what the next step would be at every part of the process这都是免费的,帮助她的人,那些受雇于政府,实际上是知识渊博的,关心和漂亮 And from scraping Johann van der Guyinaband’s baby out of her to her final post-treatment evaluation was all part of one system, so, the nurse who told her there was some kind of ovarian hemorrhaging was able to say “don’t worry, we’re gonna take you to the state run hospital right next door and check you in and do some tests, and from there after you get released we’ll come to wherever you live and keep checking up on you for free.  So I know this sucks,” they would say compassionately, “but don’t worry, ’cause we’re gonna take care of you.”

In America, it would have been: you looking down between your feet in stirrups and seeing the abortionist cock an eyebrow suspiciously, maybe mutter, but ultimately say nothing.  And then afterward a squat, surly nurse in a briefing  room would force some forms on you saying you weren’t gonna sue before telling you you had some kind of complication and might want to go have a doctor look at it.  Wait, what?  What is it?女士。 Ma’am– please, calm down ma’am.  I’m not allowed to discuss this with you, we recommend that you go to a qualified physician… and if you have insurance, you get home with your insides stinging and bleeding from having the guy in a band’s baby scraped out of you and the first thing you’d have to do is call the phone number on the back of your insurance card and ring… ring…

帕拉西班牙的品牌的“dos”...欢迎来到加州蓝盾如果您是医疗保健提供者,请立即按“一”(等待)…如果您是会员,请说“我是会员”。  “I’m a member” 对不起,我没有听到你的声音如果你是会员,请说”“我是MMMEMMMBBEERRRR ! ! ! ! !”行请说出或输入你的十位数政策号码..(哔哔哔哔声)......继续阅读

保护:就在这该死的耻辱小屋

27 四月

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日记2011年元旦:我他妈的琐碎的细节

26 四月

I should have kissed Anne at midnight.  What threw me was her talking about needing to find a guy to make out with.  This means: not you.  But stillI could have done it.  I ended up sleeping at her place.  I don’t remember going to bed, but I woke up next to her, surprised.  And I thought she might think I was her ex-boyfriend, and wake up and realize it was me, and be shocked and appalled.  But no.

She was an excellent sleeping partner.  She was wearing tights and would like, wrap her top leg around mine as we were spooning.  And put my hand in a comfortable place near her boobs.  I keep thinking- maybe I should have fucked her, but how?  I would have been too drunk to get a boner at night and in the morning my mouth tasted like rotten tequila.  Cut yourself some slack, dude.  You don’t have to fuck everybody.

日记:除夕2010 -从来没有告诉我

26 四月

Fuck- anyway.  Going to Anne’s我不会他妈的安妮Right?  Or I mean, what if Ibe fucking Anne? That would be awesome.  But I will not be fucking Anne.

I mean, she just broke up with a dude—what does this mean?  Why do I care? She is not going to be my girlfriend.  I don’t want her to be my girlfriend但我希望看到她的裸体。

I’m excited just to spend time around other human beings.  Especially chicks, who—like, a lot of my friends are hot chicks.  But there is literally no chance of me fucking them.  An earthquake could happen, and they could be splayed out naked, and I could also be naked with a boner and a beam from some building could fall on top of us at a serendipitous angle and force my dick into them, but still somehow I would not be fucking themWhereas, Anne, and that friend of hers, there is merely a 99.99999 % chance that I will not be fucking them.  Somehow this is exciting to me.  Like, if pussy were money, I would be the guy who spends the last dollar from his welfare check on scratch tickets.继续阅读